Dream Musings
by Sharptooth
Summary: Harry suffers from a Quidditch accident during his 6th year. Written prior to HBP, but eerily similar He finds that things inside his head are conspiring to force him to make a difficult choice. HP/GW


**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything other than the story line . All rights belong to J.K. Rowling

Dream Musings

Harry sped across the Quidditch pitch on his firebolt, streaking after the golden snitch. He had spotted it a few moments before, and he was rapidly closing the distance. He had left the Hufflepuff seeker far behind.

He closed his hand, feeling the reassuring hardness of the snitch as it tried to squirm free, but it was to no avail. Harry had it held fast and the game was over. He looked up with a smile just in time to see the bludger directly in front of him, just before the head on collision.

It struck him full in the face with a sickening thud. He heard the bone shattering cracking of his nose and both cheek bones. He felt his head being thrown back, and then he had lost his grip on his broom stick. He was tumbling off the back, and then flipping in mid-air as he fell towards the ground below.

He landed high on his back and felt a flash of white hot pain shoot through him before everything went black.

(One hour later in the Hospital Ward)

"His body will mend, of course," said Madam Pomfrey to a very worried crowd of visitors lead by Albus Dumbledore. "It's the coma that worries me. He may come out of it, he may not. There's just no way to tell without jeopardizing his physical condition. The only thing we can do is wait."

"I see Poppy, very well, we will wait. In this case however, I would recommend that he have continuous companionship, more for their benefit than his. His friends need to be there for him. As there are five of them who feel especially concerned for his well being, I would suggest that they all serve four hour shifts so that they might each have a chance to see him at least once each day. I will excuse each of them from their studies until their services are no longer necessary." Dumbledore smiled at each of the students behind him, taking a moment to reach over and ruffle Neville's hair in a particularly affectionate manner.

"But Albus, we don't know how long this could go on. It may never end, he could be like this for the rest of his life," Madam Pomfrey said.

"Be that as it may, Poppy, this young man is the key to our future, and I can think of no more noble or worthy task for his closest friends to see him through his time of need. Besides, I happen to think that you may very well be underestimating Mr. Potter's incredible recuperative powers."

"Very well, Albus, on your head be the consequences," Madam Pomfrey said turning back to Harry. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do. I will allow the first shift to start at the top of the hour, no sooner." With that the conversation was at an end.

The five youths bid goodbye to the Headmaster, and huddled together to discuss how they were going to handle this.

"I want to take the first shift," Ginny said, a strength of conviction in her voice. "I dare any of you to try and stop me." She looked around, and though it looked like Ron and Hermione were both going to say something, in the end they just nodded.

"Well I'm taking the second shift," said Ron

"Hey, what about me?" asked Hermione. "I'm his friend too."

"Nobody's questioning that 'Mione," muttered Ron.

"I have an idea, Hermione," whispered Neville. All heads turned to him. "How about if Ron takes the second shift and you take the fourth. I'll take the third and Luna the fifth. That way, when Ron comes off shift, the two of you can spend my shift together, to give Ron the emotional support he needs after coming off shift, and to allow him to give you the strength to go on shift. Luna and I can do the same thing."

"What about me?" asked Ginny, not liking where this was leaving her.

"We'll each take turns supporting you, and you can do the same for us. We're a team in this, and we have to act like one if we're to keep going for Harry," was his reply.

Heads nodded all around, and it was decided. As the top of the hour approached, Ginny got ready to go and sit with Harry.

She walked over to his bedside and pulled up a chair. Looking down at him she decided that he looked so serene as he slept, so finally at peace. It broke her heart anew that she hadn't been able to bring him such peace, but he hadn't allowed anyone to get close to him, pushing all away with equal aplomb.

She reached out and took his hand in hers. "Don't worry Harry, I'm here with you, and we're going to be here for you for as long as you need." She settled in to sit with him for the next four hours.

(Somewhere inside Harry's head)

_He gazed around, finding himself in the familiar surroundings of his dorm room. He was sitting on his four poster in his night clothes, with the covers up over his legs. As he sat there a man walked in the entry way. _

_He had short unruly black hair, and a pair of round spectacles on. He looked down at Harry, and gave him a lopsided grin that turned Harry's stomach in on itself. Harry gulped and stared. It was like looking in a mirror, except that the mirror was looking from the future, not the present._

_"Dad?" Harry asked incredulously._

_"Hello Harry," the man said. "Yes, I'm your father."_

_"How are you here? I mean, your…"_

_"Dead, Harry? Yes, I am dead, but here in your mind, anything is possible. I can be here for you, even if I can't be there any other time. You brought me here, I didn't come except that you had the need."_

_"What's happening Dad? Why am I seeing you?"_

_"You've been injured Harry. You had a horrible accident. Your friends are waiting for you to return to them."_

_"But I don't know the way!" he wailed._

_"Yes you do, Harry, it's just that your injuries won't let you remember yet. Don't worry, you'll be able to go to them soon enough. In the mean time, I'm here, and I'm sure you have something you want to talk about. After all, you summoned me, not the other way around."_

_"Er, alright, How do I go on Dad? I mean, it's getting so hard you know. I feel like I'm going to crack under the strain. I'm expected to destroy Voldemort, and I have absolutely no idea how. I mean, you tried, and he killed you. What am I supposed to do?"_

_"First off Harry, you need to find a way to reduce your stress. I would suggest that you lighten the load by confiding in your friends. They love you, you know. Besides, if there was one thing that we found by being in the Order, as well as in the Marauders, it was that there is strength in numbers. You are much stronger with your friends than you are without them."_

_"But if I let them get too close, Voldemort will simply use them against me."_

_"Don't underestimate your friends, Harry. They are your truest strength. Your mother was mine, they are yours."_

_"I don't want them to die, Dad."_

_"People die, Harry, it's a part of life. I'm proof of that. It's how you live that's important. They have chosen you, son, and that's the important part. They want to be with you, especially a certain young redhead, unless I miss my guess," he said with a grin._

_"Dad, she's Ron's sister!"_

_"What of it Harry? Do you really think that that matters to your friends? I tell you now that your fears are simply that. If you want to have the strength to defeat Voldemort, you need to allow yourself the chance to experience life. Be prepared, yes, but also experience what it is to be young and in love. That is your greatest gift Harry. You have an immense capacity for love, and if you capitalize on that, and allow yourself to feel, and grow, no one, not even Voldemort can possibly stand before you."_

_"I, I don't know Dad, it's all so confusing."_

_"Of course it is Harry, you're only sixteen after all, but you'll figure things out quickly. You're too much like me not to. It's funny really, this time the tables are turned. I was the one that new the moment I saw your mother that we were destined for each other, but she didn't believe until much later. This time it's you that doesn't believe. It's ironic actually."_

_"I'll think about it, Dad, really I will. But I have something else to ask you. Why did you leave me? Couldn't you and Mum have run away? Wasn't there another way?"_

_"Harry," James said with a shrug, "what would you have had me do? There was no time, no chance to flee. I did what I could to give your mother and you more time. We knew that it could come to this, and we already had a plan in place. I was just acting according to that plan. Your mother was the best charms witch I have ever seen, Harry, and given a few moments warning I was sure that there would be some way for her to protect you. I gave her those few moments time. I did the best that I could so that you could survive. It was all I could do. I didn't have the power to do any more."_

_"I just wish you were here, Dad, with me. I miss you and Mum so much. It's been so hard without you." The tears were streaming down his cheeks._

_"I know it has Harry, but there was no other way. There was no alternative available. If I could have done things differently, I would have, believe me."_

_"I do Dad," he said, wiping his face._

_"Good Harry, I'm glad. You need to rest so you can get back to your friends. I have to go Harry, but I'll be here in your dreams if you need me. Take care my son, I love you." _

_James Potter reached over and embraced Harry briefly, then stood and walked out the door. As he was leaving, blackness once again claimed Harry._

(Shift Change)

Ron walked into the Hospital Ward to find Ginny sleeping with her head on Harry's pillow, her forehead lightly touching his.

He grinned at the sight, knowing full well how his sister felt about Harry, despite her protestations that she was over him. He had known her for way too long to not see how she really felt. He would never admit to such insight, though. It was much too useful to him that everyone think that he didn't have a clue.

"Ginny, wake up sis," he said, prodding her gently on the shoulder. As her eyes fluttered open he looked down at her. "Any change?"

"No," she said dejectedly.

"Well, it's only been a few hours yet. Go and get something to eat, I'll take it from here."

Ginny nodded and padded softly out of the room, leaving Ron alone with his best friend.

"Well, Mate, looks like it's just you and me again," he said, and proceeded to start telling Harry about his day.

(In Harry's head)

_Harry 'woke' to find himself outside on the grounds of Hogwarts, under a beech tree that he recognized from Snape's memory that he had viewed in the pensieve. As he looked around he spotted a woman with flowing red hair seated next to the lake, dipping her feet in to cool them._

_He slowly walked over towards her, and as he did, he felt the stirrings of recognition flow through him._

_"Mum?"_

_"Oh, Hello Harry, I was wondering when you'd get here. I've been waiting for a while. It feels so good just to sit and dip my feet. Why don't you join me?"_

_He quickly decided that he might as well, he sat down next to her and removed his trainers. He stuck his feet in the lake, and found that it indeed felt very good to do so._

_"It's good to see you again, Harry. My how you've grown, the last time I saw you, you were just a baby."_

_"You too Mum. Erm, there's something I've been meaning to ask you, if I ever got the chance."_

_"What's that Harry?" she said, looking him in the eye._

_"Were you adopted? Because I've lived with your sister for fifteen years now, and I can't imagine anyone less like what everyone says you were like."_

_Lily sighed. Harry thought it was one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard._

_"You have to understand, Harry. Petunia was the 'normal' one in the family. She was the one that didn't have any abilities or powers. I was the one that got that. Our parents were so ridiculously proud of me being a witch. I'm sure that it hurt Petunia very much for me to be so singled out. She was so insanely jealous of what I could do, and she just ended up hating everything that I stood for."_

_"She's just so mean to me, it's like she wishes that I had never been born."  
"No, Harry, she doesn't wish that. Whatever else Petunia Dursley may be, she isn't that person that you think she is. It's just that you remind her of the life that I had, the one that was forever closed to her. You remind her that there was something besides Vernon Dursley and his drills. You remind her of everything that she is not."_

_"I just wish I didn't have to be with them. It's so hard living with them. Did you know that they kept me in the cupboard under the stairs?"_

_"Yes, I knew Harry. I wish I could have saved you from that. Unfortunately I couldn't."_

_"It's okay Mum, Dad explained to me why things happened. You gave me a chance to survive. I really do appreciate that."_

_"Now I have something to ask you, Harry."_

_"What's that, Mum?"_

_"When are you going to admit to what you feel, Harry?"_

_"Er, what do you mean, Mum?"_

_"I mean, Harry James Potter, that you have feelings for Miss Weasley. When are you going to admit to yourself that you do?"_

_"I do not!"_

_"Harry, you're forgetting that I'm in your mind, I can see what you think and feel. You have feelings for her, and you're refusing to admit that to yourself."_

_"But Mum, she's Ron's little sister. He'd kill me if he even thought that I felt anything for her. Besides, I don't like her." He looked at her sheepishly._

_"Harry, you may be able to lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me. I can see into your heart, my love, and I see a depth of emotion there that goes beyond just 'she's Ron's little sister'."_

_"But I can't love anyone, Mum. If I do, I'll just endanger them with Voldemort."_

_"Harry, I'm going to tell you this because you need to know the truth. Your friends are already marked for death, for they chose to stand with you against Voldemort. You can't change that fact. What you can change is the future. You can change that by allowing yourself to care. It's the only way you can defeat Voldemort, Harry. You can defeat him through the power of love, but only if you allow yourself to experience it. If you don't, you're on the same ground as him."_

_"First Dad, now Mum," whispered Harry under his breath._

_"What was that, dear? I didn't quite catch it."_

_"Oh nothing, Mum," Harry answered._

_"Very well dear, I think you need to get some rest. I'll talk to you at a later time. You just get well, and get back to Ginny. You need her as much as she needs you."_

_"Yes Mum," Harry muttered._

_"Good boy," she said, ruffling his hair._

(Third Shift)

"How's he doing?" asked Neville as he walked into the ward where Harry was.

"About the same," answered Ron, standing up with a large stretch. "He just lies there, but I swear he can hear me. I don't know how I know, I just do."

Neville took the chair that Ron had just vacated, and settled in. As Ron met Hermione at the door, Neville looked down at Harry.

"Harry, you're the strongest person that I know. You have to get better. We need you here, Harry. We don't have the strength to go on without you. You're our leader Harry. You're the only one that ever had any confidence in me, and I need you here. I'll be there at your back, but I need you here."

(Back in Harry's head)

_Harry found himself in a teacher's office. He looked around to see an inordinately large amount of portraits on the walls, but since they were all without their inhabitants, they weren't really a lot of help. It all seemed very familiar, but for some reason he couldn't seem to place where he was._

_"Harry, Harry, Harry," came a melodic voice from behind him._

_"No, it can't be," he muttered before spinning around to find himself face to face with…_

_Gilderoy Lockhart._

_"What are you doing here?" he asked, perhaps a little more harshly than he quite meant to._

_"Harry, my dear boy, is that any way to talk to your favorite teacher?"_

_"But you're not dead."_

_"Well, physically that's true, but up here," he said pointing to his head, "phttt. Nothing, nada, nil, game over."_

_"So what do you want?" Harry asked._

_"How should I know, you're the one that called me here, that's how it works."_

_Harry sighed, and then shrugged his shoulders._

_"Harry, Harry, Harry, recognition is all well and good, but take it from me, and I should know, you have something much more important than recognition. You have true friends, Harry. That's something all the recognition and fame can't bring."_

_"Yeah, I have friends, what of it?"_

_"Don't you see? They care about you Harry. I've never had that. It's something that's worth more than gold. It's why people give up there lives, Harry. It's what being alive is all about. Friends my dear boy. You really need to treat them better than you have. They love you."_

_"I know they do Professor, but I can't love them back. If I do, then Voldemort will use them to get to me."_

_"Harry, haven't you been through this argument before? You really are starting to sound like a broken recording. You just keep bringing up the same, tired old arguments over and over again."_

_"I like the tired old argument," Harry whispered._

_"Of course you do, Harry, because it's easy. But beware, that's the path that I followed. Always take the easy way out. And what did it get me? A one way brain wipe and a cozy room in St. Mungo's."_

_"It's just that sometimes it's so hard. Sometimes it's so hard that I just want to quit. I like the easy way."_

_"Harry, you're going to find that often you have to choose between what's easy and what's right."_

_"But why does it always have to be me?"_

_"Why not, Harry? Would you rather it be Neville? He's out there with you right now."_

_"Well, no."_

_"Then how about Ginny? Would you rather it be her that has to face the Dark Lord?"_

_"Merlin's beard, no!"_

_"My my Harry, such a vehement response. Perhaps I touched a nerve."_

_"It's just that…"_

_"It's just what, Harry? That you care about her? That you can't bear to have anything happen to her? That you might even love her?"_

_"Well…"_

_"Well what?"_

_"Maybe…"_

_"That's a start, Harry my boy, that's a start. You need to come to terms with this, before it tears you apart. Remember your friends Harry, they're your greatest strength. They are the completion of who and what you are. With them, you are unbeatable. Without them, well, you're merely mortal."_

_"Yes, Professor."_

_"That's the spirit Harry, accept what must be, and use it to your advantage. Make it a strength, not a weakness. Now get some rest, you're still not ready to return to your friends yet."_

(Fourth Shift)

Hermione gave Ron a hug before leaving to go into the Hospital Ward. She tip-toed over to where Neville sat with Harry. He looked drained and exhausted.

"Neville, go and get some rest. I'll take over from here." She placed a hand on his shoulder reassuringly, and then allowed him to leave and be with Luna.

Once he had left, she bent down and placed a soft kiss on Harry's cheek. "You just get well, Harry, I'm here now, and I'll be seeing you through the next four hours."

She sat down next to him, and began recounting all the things that he had been missing out on while here in Madam Pomfrey's care.

(In Harry's head again)

_Harry 'woke' once more, this time finding himself flying around the Quidditch pitch. He looked around to see if there was anyone there, and saw that there was one other person flying. _

_He looked closer, and found that it was Cedric Diggory. He was flitting back and forth across the pitch, slowly making his way over to where Harry was floating._

_"Cedric?" Harry asked._

_"Yeah Harry?"_

_"You're alive?"_

_"Only here, Harry, only in your head."_

_"So what great wisdom have you got for me?"_

_"Who me? What makes you think I have any wisdom. I'm only three years older than you. I really don't know a lot. I do know that you are a man of honor, and that you have a sense of fair play about you that is very admirable."_

_Harry blushed deeply, and then muttered "thanks."_

_Cedric looked him up and down, and finally, after much deliberation, said "look Harry, you brought me here, what is it you wanted to say?"_

_"Well, I wanted to apologize to you."_

_"Whatever for?"_

_"For getting you killed."_

_"Harry, you didn't get me killed. I got killed because I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I got killed because a madman came up with an evil plot, and I just happened to be in the way."_

_"But if it weren't for me, you wouldn't have been there at all."_

_"Yes, Harry, I would have, because you were really my only competition for the prize. If you weren't there, I would have gotten to the cup, and I still would have been there. I still would have died. It didn't matter at all what you did. The only thing that mattered, was that you showed me a kindness before I died. You made my last moments happy, Harry. You helped me bring honor and respect to Hufflepuff House."_

_"I really did come to see you as a friend, Cedric."_

_"And I learned to see you as one as well Harry."_

_"I wish you were alive, Cedric. We really could use you. I know that Cho sure could use you around."_

_"Yeah, I miss her. We were good together. I know that you cared about her, Harry. I wish that my memory hadn't stood in the way, but it's really much better this way."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I mean if things had worked out between you and Cho, you wouldn't be available now."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Harry, there's someone right in front of your nose that loves you with a passion that Cho can't match. Cho is much to shallow an individual to appreciate you Harry. It takes someone that has a much greater range of emotional depth than her. It takes a Weasley to appreciate a Potter, or so I'm told." He smiled at Harry._

_"Not you too," Harry moaned._

_"Afraid so, Harry. After all, I'm just a part of your psyche. I'm not really Cedric, just a memory of him within you. It's really you talking to you, Harry. Now get some rest, Harry. You're almost ready to return to your friends. I'll always be here if you need me Harry, remember that."_

(Fifth Shift)

Luna relieved Hermione, and sat on the bed next to Harry. She leaned over and gently massaged his temples, all the while humming a song that she had heard him smile at once. When she finished with that, she gently moved him to his side, and began rubbing his back, all the while keeping time to the song in her head.

(Into the black recesses of Harry mind once more)

_Harry found himself sitting at the kitchen table at Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He found it a little disconcerting at first, until he realized that Sirius was sitting across from him, smiling from ear to ear._

_"Hullo, Harry," he said with a grin._

_"Hi Sirius," Harry said returning the smile, unable to help himself. He knew that he should feel miserable, but seeing Sirius again felt so good._

_"So Harry, I'm here to tell you that you're almost there now. Just a little bit longer, for the next shift to change, and you're good to go."_

_"But I don't want to go, I want to stay here with you."_

_"Ah Harry, that would be very pleasant, but once again you must choose between what is easy and what is right."_

_"It all comes back to that, doesn't it?"_

_"I'm afraid so Harry."_

_"Why did you come after me, Sirius? If you'd stayed behind, I'd still have you."_

_"But I couldn't leave it to the rest, don't you see Harry? I couldn't trust anyone else not to screw it up. If something had happened to you there and I had stayed behind, I'd never have forgiven myself."_

_"So instead I can't forgive myself."_

_"Why? Because the most powerful and experienced evil wizard of the age tricked you? Harry, he's tricked wizards with much more experience than you before, and he'll continue to do so until he's stopped."_

_"But if I'd remembered your mirror, I would have been able to talk to you directly. Then we'd both be safe."_

_"Harry, you couldn't help what happened. I chose to go, and I still would, even knowing how it would end. I went because you are my godson, and I love you. Each and every one of us that went felt the same way. You may not realize it, but you are very loveable."_

_"I miss you Sirius."_

_"And I miss you Harry. I said it once that it was unfair that I got to spend so much time with your parents, and you got to spend so little. I hope I made it a little more bearable while I could."_

_"You did, Sirius"_

_His godfather smiled at him, and then pulled him into a bone crushing bear hug. He held him there while Harry wept, keeping him safe until the sobbing stopped._

_"Harry, I have one more piece of advice for you. If you care for this girl, and I know that you do, tell her about it. If you don't, you'll lose her, and then you'll find that you've lost everything that makes life worth living. I made that mistake once, and it cost me more than I can even contemplate. I know that it cost me a shot at true happiness."_

_"I'll try Sirius."_

_"You're a Gryffindor, Harry. I know the courage is there. You'll find a way, and you'll be much happier with her than without her, I promise you. Now get a little more rest Harry, your time is coming sooner than you think."_

(Shift change)

Ginny crept into the room, finding Luna sitting Indian style at the end of his bed. She looked up at Ginny and smiled. Padding over, Ginny gave her a big hug, and settled in at Harry's side, grabbing his hand with hers.

(Back in the head)

_"Harry, wake up," a rough voice said._

_"Huh? What?"_

_Harry looked up and saw an old man standing over him dressed in Muggle clothing. He searched his memory, and it finally came to him. This was the man that had died when he discovered Voldemort in his old parents' house._

_"It's time boy, now get a move on, before the moment passes. Go on now!"_

(In the hospital ward)

"Ginny," croaked Harry.

Ginny's eyes flew open. She stared at Harry in shock. He motioned her to come closer to him, and she did, putting her ear close to his mouth.

"Look at me," he whispered.

She turned her head and looked down into his eyes. Mustering all his courage, he pushed himself up on his elbows and captured her lips with his. Her eyes got incredibly wide with surprise, but she didn't pull away. He concentrated on keeping a light pressure on her lips, and balancing himself weakly on one elbow, he reached around and grabbed the back of her head, before falling back onto the bed, his lips still on hers.

He kept it up until she started to relax and melt into the kiss. When he was sure that she had responded to his liking, he released his hold on the back of her head and broke the contact.

"Wow!" she breathed huskily.

"Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag."

"Huh?"

"It's a Muggle expression. It means that the secrets out and it can't be taken back. I have a confession to make."

"What is it Harry?" she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I think I've fallen in love with you," he whispered in her ear. "I hope you don't mind."

She let out a little squeal of delight, and kissed him soundly this time, making sure that he knew just how she felt about the matter.

After she let him breathe again, she looked him in the eyes. "Let's tell the others your awake, they'll want to know."

"Sure, but first we have to let Madam Pomfrey know. I tell you what, you go and get the others, I'll get her."

"Alright Harry, but first, one more thing."

"What's that?"

"Kiss me." He had no choice but to grant her wish, such was the power she held over him.


End file.
